Dear Brian and Jessie,
Thank you for the wonderful vacation. I hope you had as much fun as Mom and I did (Jim too). From the moment you met us in the airport in Yaounde until the time you and Brian dropped us off at the airport in Daoula we had an absolute blast. Imagine that, you were in charge of us the whole time, you guys did a great job shepherding us around the Third World. I knew on the ride from the airport that this trip was going to be different. Speaking of that ride.....
What a ride that is, right through time. You travel all of 40 minutes and you’ve experienced a hugh slice of Africa already. Somewhat rural, mostly big city but such a city as I’ve never seen and then finally to the five star Hilton Hotel where you correctly said, “This is as good as it’s going to get.” By which I think you meant the train ride we were taking next evening. Speaking of which......
Lucky for us you reserved a couchette for everyone, didn’t tell me that we got our own ‘pets” (read cockroaches) with the room. After the scrum of the station, and the Porters it was nice to be our own private room on the train. Which reminds me, what was the problem the Porters? There seemed to be a big ‘argument’ over what we should pay those boys. I couldn’t see arguing over 50 cents, but so be it. I guess it’s an African thing. I mean the guy carried one bag on this head and one in each arm, and I know because I weighed them, that each bag weighed at least 30 lbs. When you went back to the “porter office” to complain and settle the price I thought I might never see you again, but it was good to know that we saved 50 cents, it bought us about a dozen bananas on the trip. Thanks for telling me not to buy any of that Matiock (spelling, no idea) on the train. That was the worst tasting food I’ve ever had (and remember this from a kid who ate a mothball at age 3). That train ride was very interesting, who would have thought that if you put a live chicken in a plastic bag you could take it on a train!! Lucky we got off at the right station uh??? No front desk to call for a wake up, no schedule. Just rely on the internal clock uh? Which leads to the “private car” ride to your village. Now about that ride......
My first thoughts: How did the driver know exactly where we were going to exit the train? I'm thinking "This is great he’s parked right on this little incline next to the train." Oh, now I see why he’s parked there: Because the starter doesn’t work, he needs to let the van roll down the hill so he can start it!!! Great!!! I’m sitting next to a guy who owns 50 car dealerships and we’re in a van whose back door only closes if you say the magic words; whose tires look like they’re make out of bologna skins; and it’ll only start going down hill. No matter only about 80-90 miles to your village, Tabiti. What’s that you say? 5 hours to get there. Nice and who’d a thunk you could get 9 people and as many pieces of luggage in a van with three rows of seats!!! Of course you can if everybody has a rather large piece of luggage in their lap for 5 hours. Now I know what you meant when you said, “Pack light.” At this point, I know this is going to be a real “trip”. But you know what? that drive was great, fantastic scenery and villages that were just amazing. How the people live in these places is something that has to be admired. To see them walking down the road with big bucket of water on their head or a load of firewood, amazing. Many of the houses had bowls of Matiock all ready for cooking for sale out in front of the houses. The commercial centers of the villages; where you pointed out that everybody sells the same thing, orange Fanta, the ever present Coke, liter bottles of gasoline, maybe dried fish, bananas. No rest areas with Burger King in this country.
Finally, after only one flat tire (the bologna skins gave out), we arrive at your village of Meng and your neat little house. Now, about that house......
My first thought, “How have you and Brian lived here for one year?” Gotta hand it to you two. Our welcoming committee consisted of two dogs, a couple cats and a whole bunch of neighbors. Now I see how you manage, you live in a great neighborhood and have wonderful neighbors. Sidouan does the dishes, Hiver tills the garden, Mandela gets water from the well and Bernard washes your clothes, and Vinnie...Vinnie Cheese provides the entertainment with about 15 of his closest friends, all under age 10 ( I guess) and most with a shirt and pants or a dress on. Although for some of them at least one piece of clothing was optional.
Jess and Brian's house
After you finish washing the floor and we all settle into our rooms, we send one of the ‘peities’ to the store(??) for........warm beer. $1.25 gets you 24 ozs. of 33. That’s the local beer and it’s great warm. Gotta bring that bottle back though. By the way, did you ever settle that problem with the store owner over the 10 cent bottle return? I was tempted to just pay him one day when Jim and I ventured out and bought beer by ourselves. (After a while Jess and Brian gave the adults permission to cross the street and go to the store.) But I thought you might get mad at me so we left it for you to settle. As you always said “They’ll just expect the White man to cave in to them.” Good thing Jim remembered where the store was because I was heading into someone’s house to buy the beer. I’m sure they would have sold me something, it seems like every thing has price in Africa.
Thanks for introducing us to the African version of The Waffle House or as you call it, “the omelet shack”. When I first see it I figure you’re kidding and we’re really not buying omelets in this place, it looks like something one would find under a bridge in east LA. However we go in and like much of Africa, there’s a surprise waiting. Your choice of bean or spaghetti omelets!!! The ambiance is early orange crate, but it’s great!!!! Plus a refrigerator with somewhat cold water or soda. It’s help yourself to a place setting and silver ware. Did you know that there are forks that don’t work? Jim seemed to pick one the first time we were there and in all fairness when it was my turn to pick, I saw his mistake and picked a fork that worked. How come you don’t dicker over the price of omelets, it seems like you do over everything else in the country but not those??
If you see the Lamido (Sultan) again, tell him it was nice of him to have us over for a chat. I hope he liked the Buffalo we gave him. Did you think he understood that that was the name of our “Village”-Buffalo? I don’t think so. Thanks to Brian for loaning me the traditional garb for that visit. I think all the villagers got a kick out of seeing me and Jim in those outfits. In fact, now that I think about it, I think we were pranked. What about it Brian? an ocean separates us, you can tell us now. Do all those people who visit the Lamido get their own shoes back? That’s a hassle, taking off you shoes to walk in his house, most of the area is dirt floor, so go figure) although now that I think about it, you made us take off our shoes before we went into your house. I must I admit I didn’t do it all the time, payback is a bitch, uh? Were you trying to be Lamido of Meng??
Ready to meet the Lamido
Dr. Flo,Ludia,Abdul,Jessie,Gabriel,Jim
Ten seconds ago they were all watching Jim read on his Kindle.
The OR
Downtown Tabiti-the omlette shack is nearby.
I think we rode with Angelina Jolie, some parts looked like Haiti.
Make sure you thank Flo, the Austrian doctor, (that’s Florian to folks who don’t know him as well as I do) for the tour of the hospital. I do have a couple of suggestions for that place though. Can we do something about the goats that seem to be everywhere and leave their calling cards all over the place? Maybe they could mix in a few garbage cans in the courtyards since the patients relatives have to live out in the open or on the porch while the patient is there. Maybe a few propane grills since the patients relatives have to cook for them while they're in the hospital. It was rather ironic that the whole while I’m looking at the hospital, I’m thinking, “I hope I never have to be treated here” (I’m sure we were all thinking that too) and then guess what??? Surprise African style, Jim needs to go to the hospital the next day and make use of the facilities. (I’ll save the details for Jim’s blog). Jess, one thing I’ve been meaning to ask: We’re in the middle of nowhere at this hospital and they’ve got everything they need for Jim’s cast and pain killers. We go to the Provincial capital city the next day and you’ve got to go out and buy the plaster of paris or what ever it is they use to make Jim his newer, smaller cast. How come??? You’d figure the little hospital wouldn’t have it but the bigger one would. Another African surprise.
Also thank Abdul, your very special Cameroonian friend, for showing us around a little bit and introducing us to his father and his father’s three wives and a few of his 22 siblings. Boy, is that house crowded!! Why did the third wife have the nicest kitchen?? A new gas range and big freezer. I loved how they all displayed their wedding presents; the cookware they were given ( and apparently never used).
If you ever run into any of the Moto drivers give them a shout out for me too. Except maybe the one who ran out of gas with me on the back in the middle of the night. When he turned the Moto over to release the gas in the reserve tank I thought we were done for. Do you think Brian would have come back to get me? I had no idea where I was or where I was going. I guess I can’t complain since the rides only cost about 40 cents, can’t get on a Merry-go-Round for that...
And also a big thanks to the driver we had who took us from Tabati to Ngaoundere(150 miles) in a record time of 6 1/2 hours. I’m pretty sure he went at least 20 mph. once or twice. Why are most of the roads on that route like a washboard??? I think Jim’s leg must have felt it for the whole time, but being the good trooper he is, not one complaint. Except maybe when the driver stopped for his breakfast, disappeared, and left us in the market where they were just finishing butchering that cow/goat/whatever they were chopping up. Do they need to do it right next to the road? Does the dust from the trucks improve the taste of the meat? Again, the scenery was beautiful and I just missed seeing that monkey’s ass jumping in the bush. Mom saw it (just the butt) and she still counts it as seeing a monkey. Me, I had to wait until the trip to the pigmy village to see my first and only monkey.
Me after the 6 1/2 hr. car ride. A little dusty and it's not a misprint, I felt like I was sideways after I got out of that van.
Market in Ngaoundere
Tell all your staj in Ngaoundere that it was wonderful to meet them. It looks like you’ve made some life long friends and that you’ll have lots of people and places to visit all over the country when you get back. They’re all so smart and dedicated, mom, Jim and I were very impressed. It was really nice to meet Allison since I’ve been following her blog the most, but now I’m going to look for the others too. I’ve been thinking about our lunch at the Coffee Shop, you should go back and see if they did the factur correct for our lunch. How can 10 people have steak or fish as an entree, beer or soda and the bill only come to $60? Another African surprise I guess.
I know you’ll run across my tailor so tell her I’m planning on taking my pange shirt to Florida. I’m sure the orders will be coming in fast and furious when the folks in Fla. see that baby.
And make sure you thank the train official who helped with our reservation from Ngoundre back south to Yaounde. I think turning on the water works did help on that one. Poor Jim would not have made it if he had to sleep on the floor in First Class. I don’t think he would have been able to step over the many bodies laying in the aisles after about 10PM. Although I should talk, I slept in the upper bunk with mom feet to face and face to feet. Tell me again, why were those two guys handcuffed to the table in the dining car, something about stealing money on the train??? I wonder if the guys in the other car ever stopped arguing, I know they were going at it at 6PM when I went through and at 10PM and 2AM. Not sure but I think they stopped around 5AM so the Muslims could pray in the aisle.
Jessie doing a deal at the hardware store in Ngaundere
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The 'Staj' at the Coffee Shop
Heading for the train to yaounde and home for Jim
African morning mist
A popular spot in Yaounde--good fish!!
When you get back to Yaounde, make sure you get in touch with our newest Cameroonian friend, Josephine. She sure made us a nice lunch. I’ll trade a few bottles of vitamins and aspirin for that lunch again. The ride from our hotel (not the 5 star this time, the 2 star) to her house was amazing. I could not believe the roads in the Capital city. Those weren’t potholes, they were carters!! Do you think the cab driver hit anyone when he drove on the sidewalk to avoid that massive crater in the middle of that intersection? My eyes were closed during that part. You’ve got to find out from Josephine how that wedding negotiation went. We left before they started dickering about the goats but the palm wine sure was plentiful and good. The food looked great too. Sorry we missed that feast. Interesting how the groom’s family brings the gifts when he asks for the bride’s hand. My kind of gifts too, palm wine (nice if you can get past the smell--palm wine has a very bad nose) soda, beer and Cash. I think the animals were being bartered later.
What was the deal with that bus we took from Yaounde to the beaches at Kribi? The driver pulls out of the depot with 6 passengers and immediately picks up 6 more just outside the gates and collects cash for their fare. (Can you say entreprenuer??) He then drives about 2 miles and picks up a few more cash paying customers and proceeds to have about a 15 minute argument with his ‘personal conductors’ who recruited the new passengers. Everybody gets ‘sliced off’ and we pick up the next “conductor’ and few more passengers, but this time the new ‘conductor’ gets to drive the bus, while the other bus driver catches 40 winks. Nobody seems to care and we get to where we’re going safe and sound. At the point we switch drivers, a native sticks his head in my window and starts speaking in French. I give him my best 'No parle Francois' and he talks to Jessie. Jessie tells me he lives in Kribe. Well surprise surprise!!! he’s waiting for us 40 miles down the road and wonder of wonders, he’s a taxi driver!!! Well he becomes our personal taxi driver for the times we need a taxi in Kribe. Good ‘ol Suilman, his car had more bailing wire duct tape holding it together than most of the houses in that fair city. Thanks for letting me sit in the front seat all the time Suilly old boy.
When you next see our friends Beniot and Eric in Kribi tell them we had a great time. Too bad Jim had to leave before we got the the beaches in Kribi. He was scheduled to leave after the second time in Younde, but he would have found it tough to walk that beautiful beach with his leg in that cast. I think that beach must look the same as when the Portuguese first saw it 500 years ago. Amazing. No need to go out of your way to thank the folks at Tera Plage “resort” they weren’t really that friendly, but the folks at Manipanni were great.
Good ‘ol Beniot can really handle those dugout canoes. It was great how you bargined him down to a canoe ride with a beer thrown in at the end. I think he really liked your creativity on that one. I know I did, even if the 33 was warm. He got us nice and close to The Chutes. One of the few places on earth where a waterfall empties into the Ocean.
Then of course there was the matter of our trip up river to the Pigmy village. You should apologize to them, I think we got to the village on their cigarette and whiskey break or do they drink and smoke all day long? I’ll never forget the spear throwing contest we had with the drunk pigmy’s. Guess who missed the tree....not the drunk pigmy, but the sober nasara, Brian. How did he miss a tree that was about 6 feet away by about 10 feet? Not sure that it would be possible unless I saw it with my own eyes!! It was a knuckle-spear that Phil Nekro would have been proud of. I’m just glad they found the spear because those poor pigmy’s wouldn’t be able to hunt all those antelope that they told us they kill with that spear. (Yeah right, and I’ve got a Nigerian bank account with $5 million in it you can have for $4,000). Anyway the trip was more than worth it because when we got back to the beach, good ‘ol Eric had all those tasty shrimp and beer waiting for us. I didn’t even mind pulling the head and ‘legs’ off those tasty little fellas. And those might have been the best plantains we had the whole time we were there, and we had LOTS of plantains. Nice how they ‘wash’ the dishes right in the ocean. Do you think that was the first rinse or the last??? At least he did it ‘upstream’ of where those kids were swimming/pooping.
And yes I am sorry that I didn’t want to eat at that market in the Harbor in Kribi. It certainly was a lively place. You’d have thought we were celebrities the way they all wanted us to eat at their place. It was a beautiful scene, the many perogues (dug-out canoes) tied up waiting for the next tide, the nets at the ready, and the charcoal fires cooking the fresh caught fish. I just couldn’t handle it when I saw them wash the dishes in that brackish water in the harbor that looked like the bilge on a trans atlantic ship from the 1500’s. Even though the ‘nice’ outdoor restaurant we finally chose had a few rats run through the dining room, at least I didn’t have to see them wash the dishes. Ah Africa......
Men at work. The men take nets about 1/4 mile out into the sea
and then pull them in. They do it about 2 times a day. It can take a while and there's not many fish in the nets once they get them in.
Jessie and the "pigmys" going over the ground
rules for the spear throwing contest.
Dinner at night on the beach-fish again--Yeah!!
The Pirogues in Kribe harbor aka the
dishwater.
It was sad to go and Douala seemed to be a fitting place to say good-bye. That city is one big CF. What kind of hotel charges you $10 just so your parents can visit you in your room before their plane takes off. I guess the same country that chages you $20 just to leave the country. Can’t complain too much because we got to see the first half of the Super Bowl albeit 36 hours after the event. And of course you were right about those guys who want to be paid to ‘help’ you fill out the customs forms. I know you would have been mad at me for paying him for his help, but it was worth it to see the look on his face when I slipped him a US $1 bill. Let him try to convert that, I think I had the last laugh on Africa...
Love you both,
Mom and Dad
PS If you don’t get the idea that Cameroon is a wonderful place from this letter, then I missed the mark. It was exotic, simple, beautiful,shocking, and beguiling, but never boring. It was frustrating, maddening and peaceful all at the same time. The people were wonderful and amazing. I ate fish every night and never got tired of it, although mom missed her salads, the food was just fine (except for the Mantioc). Would we go back? Only with you two guys as guides. In fact, now that you’ve moved to the Big City it would be a much much less daunting trip. I might just show up before you leave, beware.....
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